"If you don’t make the effort to read it, listen to it, watch it, attend it or hang around those that have it, you will never get it. If you never get it, it is impossible to give it. What if everyone took your approach to personal development?"
Greg Gilbert - HR Consultant
“Greg Gilbert is a man on a mission who will help you exceed your expectations.” Willie Jolley-CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame Member.
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Left Fieldosophy™ is a weekly column intended to make us think. It is also very suitable for personal development or passing subtle hints. America is no longer healthy, wealthy or wise and it is up to each house to fix it, not the White House.
We are the anti-advice column on healthy, wealthy, wise, family and relationships that will look very familiar to many. Following this advice will guarantee negative long term results. Many of these will deserve taping on a mirror (yours or others) or sending to a friend. Do this only because you love them, not to give them grief. OK, well maybe just a little grief.
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Definitions:
Out in left field - Slang . Completely mistaken; wrong.
Philosophy - A system of principles for guidance in practical affairs.
Left Fieldosophy™ -A completely mistaken and wrong system of principals for guidance in practical affairs. This type of system is normally quickly and easily justified in our mind but has horrible long term impact.More on the way! Stay tuned! Click HERE to sign up for our e-mail notifications of a new Left Fieldosophy™.
Cornfucius: "Cornfused, did you see what just happened in that store? We are going for free burgers."
Cornfused: "What do you mean Dad?"
Cornfucius: "Cornfused, I gave the clerk a $10 and I guess she got confused and thought I gave her a $20. Well, their loss is our gain. We are going for free burgers. The only thing that tastes better than a bought burger is a free burger."
Cornfused: Under his breath;"There goes my last week training of "Honesty is the best policy" and "There are no free meals"".
Cornfucia: "Cornfucius, will we be able to take a family vacation this summer? Cornfused will get his drivers' license next year and he asked if you could go somewhere with us this summer."
Cornfucius: "Cornfucia, you know I only get three weeks of vacation and with bow, muzzle loading and modern rifle deer season, that doesn't leave a week for the summer. Next year I will get four weeks and we will see about going somewhere as a family."
Cornfucia: "Yeah, unless they open a slingshot or lasso deer season."
Cornfucius: "Cornfucuia, let me order for us. Yes, we would like a double Gut Buster, a single Gut Buster, a Junior Gut Buster, three large chili cheese fries. Oh, to drink we would like three diet drinks and for dessert we would like three pieces of the sugar free pecan pie with the low fat ice cream on top.?"
Cornfucia: "That sounds good. I'm glad you ordered the diet drinks and the sugar free and low fat dessert. We really need to cut back. We both have high blood pressure and cholesterol. I think most of it is hereditary though."
Cornfucius: Thinks to himself. "Yeah, it's grandma and grandpa's fault. Someday I will blame my parents."
Cornfucius: "Cornfucuia, come look at your new car. Since I got that $300 a month raise I thought you deserved a new car. Now the payment is more than $300 so we may have to cut back on our saving and/or giving but it sure is pretty isn't it?"
Cornfucia: "Does it have navigation?"
Cornfucius: "It sure does."
Cornfucia: "I love it. Cornfused, get in and let's go for a ride in momma's new car."
Cornfused: Under his breath. "One step forward, two steps back. I can't wait to grow up, get married, have kids and pass this generational wisdom down the line."
Cornfucius: "Cornfucuia, you know we were talking about eating healthier to lose weight. The way I calculate it, buying healthier food, vegetables and meat will add $75 to our monthly food bill. That's $900 a year. We can't afford that."
Cornfucia: "No, I agree. We certainly can't afford that."
Cornfucius: "I have to leave for my poker game. Don't forget to pay our cable bill. I put $300 in the bank today. That should cover our cable bill, the pay-per-views and the $75 payment on the big screen. Oh, make sure you DVR The Biggest Loser tonight."
Cornfucia: "Okay."
Cornfused: "Huh, that must be that logic thing I've heard about."
Cornfucius: "Cornfucuia, I hate being 1800 miles away from our family. I miss them but we really can't afford to go home more than every other year to see our parents. Cornfused won't even know his grandparents and I know they wanted to be a part of his life. Maybe they can come see us but it is so expensive for us to make that trip."
Cornfucia: "Remind me why we moved here."
Cornfucius: "Money."
Cornfucia: "Okay."
Cornfused: "We moved here for money but can't visit family because of money. Note to self; look up the word irony."
